It’s not every day you encounter a book with testimonials from both Erin Pizzey and Janice Fiamengo, but one such is Niceguy’s Land of the Losers. Niceguy is an American man who lives and works in Japan. From his website:
Call me Niceguy.
I like to think of myself as a decent human being. I buy drinks for my friends when we go out. I help others when they’re going through tough times. I treat animals kindly. If I could jump off the screen right now, I’d go and make us both a big bowl of popcorn just so we could sit down and enjoy it together. In short, I’m the kind of guy that others refer to as “nice.”
Women have often asked me to fix their computers, prepare their taxes, help move their furniture, or assist them with their homework. They’d ask me to pick them up when they’d missed the last bus, they’d ask me to loan them money when they were in a jam, and they’d ask me to bring snacks in the middle of the night. And since I’m nice, I was always happy to help. Unfortunately, none of the women I put myself out for were ever interested in reciprocating. Help was suddenly unavailable whenever I was the one who needed it. “Oh, you’re such a good friend!” I’d hear each time I was exploited. This wouldn’t bother me so much except for the fact that refusing requests to be exploited was always met with a wall of disapproval.
Guys like me were brought up to believe that if we always tried our best, and were beacons of kindness and generosity in a world filled with thugs and cads, we would inevitably find a girl who would love us and accept us for who we were. Instead, those traits seemed to disqualify me from any sort of romantic arrangement, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone here. Whenever I’d ask a woman out, she’d inevitably tell me that I was far too much like a brother to her, or that she didn’t want to spoil our friendship. Such rejections were always followed with sincere assurances that when I eventually found a girlfriend, she would be so lucky to have a guy like me. Yes, a woman of grace and understanding was just around the corner, merely awaiting my displays of affection to fall right into my arms.
Well that’s a myth. A fraud. A big damn lie. Now that I live in exile from my native culture, I can see that dating and romance in the West is a heavily skewed affair. It sees love and romance almost strictly in terms of what the female wants. What the female expects. What the female demands. The male is mere fodder. He needs to step up to the plate and work hard, and he needs to change to suit his woman’s needs. She on the other hand, should just be herself, no matter how horrible or deceitful that may be.
So, if you’d like to know more about this site and its history, click here. If you’d like to chat to like minded men and women (yes we have supportive female readers), click here. Most importantly, if you’d like to tell me how much you hate me (and if you do, I suggest you don’t read or try to understand anything on this site), then please click here.
The book is available to buy in a Kindle edition here (use the ‘Look Inside’ functionality to view more content) – if you don’t have a Kindle device, simply download the software from the Amazon website at no cost. You can buy other ebook editions (Nook, Kobo, iPad etc.) as well as the hardback edition here.