Just learned that Prince Harry is to marry the German Chancellor (above). I didn’t even know they’d been dating. Each to his own, and all that, and Ms Merkel can evidently handle her beer – a fine quality in a woman, I’ve found over the years – but you’d have thought the age gap a bit excessive, leaving aside the fact that for reasons we all know only too well, Men Shouldn’t Marry.
Maybe it’s not too late. I’ll send him a signed and dedicated copy of my book The Fraud of the Rings.