US Navy redesigns its submarines to make them more ‘female-friendly’ by reducing the height of the controls and fitting steps to the bunk beds

Our thanks to Jeff for this. Give me strength. Cue disbelief and then laughter among Chinese, Russian, and North Korean admirals. Excerpts:

The navy is redesigning its submarine fleet to make it easier for women to serve on board.

Defense contractor Electric Boat is currently working on a new design which will have the controls placed allow smaller females [not smaller males, too?] to serve on board.

Electric Boat officials had no immediate estimate of how much the modifications will cost. [The Royal Navy has estimated the cost of modifying its nuclear submarine fleet to make it more ‘female friendly’ will be around £5 MILLION per vessel. At a time of severe budgetary constraints, the Armed Forces are spending huge sums of money on ideologically-driven measures which will reduce operational efficiency and effectiveness. We can confidently expect numerous underwater Immaculate Conceptions, requiring the female ‘sailors’ to be flown home to the UK at taxpayers’ expense.]…

On the Columbia-class boats, valves will generally be placed lower, Wilson said. Sometimes there will be an extension handle, and some will be easier to turn…

Seats in the control room on the ballistic-missile submarines will adjust forward a little more so everyone can touch each display and reach every joystick. Steps will be added so shorter people [shorter WOMEN, invariably] can climb into the top bunk or see into the washers and dryers, since clothes that get stuck in the machines are a fire hazard.

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About Mike Buchanan

I'm a men's human rights advocate, writer, and publisher. My primary focus is leading the political party I launched in 2013, Justice for Men & Boys (and the women who love them). I still work actively on two campaigns I launched in early 2012, Campaign for Merit in Business and the Anti-Feminism League. In 2014 I launched The Alternative Sexism Project, aiming to raise public understanding that the sexism faced by men and boys has far more grievous consequences than the sexism faced by women and girls.
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  • ‘ … the controls placed allow smaller females … ‘

    More convenient for the occasional female crew member (used to be crewman) who may be numbered amongst the ship’s company, far less convenient for almost all the males, and so posing a possible risk to the safety of the vessel.

    ‘ … We can confidently expect numerous underwater Immaculate Conceptions, requiring the female ‘sailors’ to be flown home to the UK at taxpayers’ expense.

    Perhaps and perhaps not. Picture this scenario: Nuclear submarines are designed to remain submerged for weeks or months at a time in periods of heightened international tension, their whereabouts unknown to any potential enemy and perhaps occasionally to the MOD too. Now imagine a female member of the crew becomes pregnant and for purely mercenary reasons, which are invariably the motive for women, conceals the pregnancy from the boat’s medical and commanding officers. Nothing shows for perhaps four or five months, perhaps the entire nine months (I knew a woman who was a size 10 when eight months pregnant, no bump at all). Eventually people cotton on but no one says anything because in a politicised and feminised MOD men know well that any allegations of ‘sexism’ are career suicide so the woman carries on. A tense international situation develops and the boat is ordered off on a foreign posting for a very long patrol. The C/O does not know officially that the woman is pregnant so cannot report it to his superiors in Whitehall. After many weeks underwater the inevitable happens and the woman gives birth. What then, does the sick bay, intended for injured sailors, become a maternity ward with a screened off area so that the woman can feed her baby in private? Is the boat ordered off its vital and secret war footing patrol, its position now known to the world? Who will be held responsible? What if the Minister for Defence is a lesbian feminist who really doesn’t like men and thinks we’re all rapists?

    Letting women loose with the levers of power is like letting children play with matches. It can only end in disaster. I’ve felt for a long time that our forefathers knew this which is why woman were kept away from anything important in any sphere except the domestic.

  • Andreas Ooka

    They go about it totally the wrong way. If they knew women, they’d know women not just love, but need drama. That’s why leaving the toilet seat up is fucking brilliant. You provide women with an adequate emotional outlet for at least three of what appears to be fundamental feminine needs: whining, being petty and coping with penis envy. That’s how you make women happy.

  • Slowcoach

    My understanding is that these large subs are not easy to reverse or park though.