With just 105 minutes left before the start of the new year, fireworks are already being let off in the throbbing metropolis of Bedford, Bedfordshire. So it seemed timely to bring you this.
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Justice for Men & Boys 
Is this report genuine?
My suspicions are aroused.
No wait, better not talk about arousal, altogether too phallic
– I mean ‘rocket like’.
True or not, I accept though that this is a potentially very serious problem, involving as it does anything that is an oppressive shape by being longer than it is wide, (ships, pencils, statues, cigarettes, fingers — no, better leave out fingers, er, too rocket like again.
…Anything spherical – I mean three dimensionally round, –
the Moon, bubbles, balls.. Oh Damn and Blast!
I knew I’d write THAT word by misake sooner or later – hand me a rubber someone.
No wait!
I mean ‘hand me an ERASER someone’.
See the size of it now?
The problem I mean….
see the size of the PROBLEM.
Oh, and don’t mention the war.
I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it…
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