Our thanks to Nigel for this. He writes:
I try to confine myself to what I regard as “serious” issues. However this silly piece about “pretty privilege” really encapsulates so much of the drivers for the current “waves” of feminists. Have a read of this, and try to imagine a man doing any such thing as creating a video and tweeting. Very simply this 28-year-old American waitress has noticed that when slim she gets compliments and tips and these became less when she grew fat. So far pretty mundane, to observe that attractive women are privileged, after all there are whole industries built on the popularity of attractive women. But also notice the awful thing that happens “she used to walk up to customers and receive positive responses, while customers now order from her without exchanging pleasantries” In other words the real world, one particularly known by men, where you do your job with the very occasional compliment.
You can see why she’s tearful and resentful, like many many girls she’ll have been fed on a huge diet of compliments about her appearance and her every doing will have been “awesome” “fantastic” “wonderful”. Precisely the diet that boys and men do NOT get fed. And here’s the rub, if you’re told so consistently you are by your mere existence a “princess” entitled to constant “validation”, it is a terrible experience to find you may be Cinderella with very few princes. Feminism taps into this and reflects it; the disappointed entitlement.
Of course it’s men who are particularly picked out for delivering this awful experience of being ordinary, particularly given their social role as those who give compliments and extravagant praise (even though often labelled “creepy” or “harassing” if not from the right sort of man). Of course it doesn’t occur to her that perhaps being nice to her customers might change things. For of course that is what boys and men are “taught”, to obtain positive feedback you have to do something worthy of praise, not just expect it. Of course the young woman has an “eating disorder” – she couldn;t just be greedy or lazy, could she? – and no doubt other mental health issues, because we cannot use words like vanity now.
I often wonder what happened to the feminist assault on female vanity? For as Mary Wollstonecraft astutely observed the sea of compliments and extravagant praise she observed heaped on her contemporaries kept them “as children” and prevented them developing the “virtues of men”.
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