Our thanks to Tom for this:
DAUGHTER: Hi Mum, I need some advice. I’ve got some of my boyfriend’s cum stuck in my hair. How do I get it out, will I have to cut it out?
MOTHER: It’s so nice you can send me such a frank text. No, you won’t have to cut it out, I’ve had loads of cum in my hair over the years and it’ll just wash out.
DAUGHTER: Bloody auto correct, supposed to spell ‘GUM’.
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