Our thanks to Jeff for this in the Femail section of the Daily Mail. The title I’ve put on this blog piece is, of course, a gender switch.
The writer of the piece – the ‘relationship expert’ – is Harry Benson. Extracts:
When my wife Kate touches the side of her jaw, it’s because it aches. If she stands in a certain way, her sciatica is playing up. These days I notice these tiny inferences that she’s feeling under par.
I listen when she talks, making eye contact, whereas once I would have hidden behind my newspaper grunting intermittently, feigning interest.
Today, I can say that our marriage is robust and joyful: full of laughter, occasional healthy bouts of contention, and above all, love. And the reason is that I’m in tune with Kate. I’ve learned to put her first; to think about her and what she needs. That’s hard to do all the time, but I’m getting better at it.
I’ve learned from my own bitter experience that a marriage can unravel when a husband ceases to care enough about his wife…
I’ve spent the past 20 years teaching thousands of couples how to have a happy marriage and am now research director for Marriage Foundation.
And my formula for fixing things is a simple one: ‘Happy wife, happy life’ is a maxim that is backed by research and has saved my own marriage…
What’s more, when Mum is happy, the rest of the family tend to be happy. This is much less true for dads. It is a simple truth that I have now acknowledged.
When I take responsibility for our marriage, and put Kate first in my pecking order of priorities, the rest will follow.
Nowhere in the article – aimed at women, let us remind ourselves – is there a suggestion that wives have any responsibility for making their husbands happy. It’s little wonder so many women have become Entitlement Princesses, and so many men are MGTOW. The slaves have been walking off the plantation, never to return.
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