Our thanks to Pete for his email, it takes up the remainder of this post.
“Some interesting points in this.
The BBC article leads with the standard large picture of a female victim – with a video of her – and a somewhat smaller picture of a male victim further on, no video.
Mentions of both women and men as victims and perpetrators, a welcome improvement, but once again placed toward the end of the article like an afterthought, a tip of the hat to a barely relevent minority.
Good info on changes in law regarding coercive control, as well as partner controlling your finances or running up debts in your name, again toward the end of the article.
These last two points I think affect men in so many ways, especially as the joined debt effectively traps a man from any escape once he includes that debt in his potential outgoings if he were to leave.
In my experience compulsive spending is a major trait for many females, and marriage, followed by having a family, then cohabitation, seems to have traditionally created unlicensed abuse in this regard.
Think for men awareness of this abuse is a valuable tool in learning to identify and articulate the abuse they suffer.
If men were more comfortable to report these actions, and such abuses were included in the national figures, things would look very different indeed, statistically speaking.
This would go a long way to levelling the accepted one-sided views on domestic abuse that have become the norm in society.
Reluctance to report physical abuse amongst men will take some time to work through, but I suspect most men do not realise the financial abuse is even abuse, and I bet its a much higher rate.
Do the collective community think this is something to push as a priority when we talk about abused men?
Nothing frustrates a man more than getting those bills that have been hidden from you, just when you thought all that overtime, and sacrifices made to get ahead are about to pay off. Sound familiar?
Financial abuse is one more likely to start being reported by men, as it’s a non emotional compulsive illogical action, unlike physical, psychological, and coercive abuses.
Compulsive behaviour is damaging.
As a levelling point I am aware of instances where women suffered this abuse also, but once again, I must state in my experience abuse towards men is not yet taken seriously by society at large.
It seems to me that accepting abuse has evolved as a part of our role as men, in tandem with our natural sense to protect and provide. Our good nature has been taken advantage of for too long.
Would be interested if anyone could point to further enlightening articles on this matter.”