One thought on “Ayami Tyndall: ‘Like a girl’ and female dependency”
This actually shown in the data and research around DV (or IPV). A smaller proportion of the male victims report considerable or long term emotional distress (but actually over 30% do) with almost half of female victims reporting this. First of all males are taught not to reveal distress (they are much more likely to say such things are “private”) and in fact are unlikely to get help if they do. Realistically being emotionally resilient (or appearing to be so) is the role expectation of “man up”. If a woman cries she learns she will not be alone, help will come (even unwelcome help!) for men if they cry they cry alone and so learn not to bother. Women routinely display “learned helplessness” for the perfectly rational reason that it will elicit help. The same behaviours will earn men nothing. Right from the first (when male babies are comforted much less if they cry etc.) males are indeed conditioned to “suck it up”. The result, huge expectations on men to lead and provide without any thought to meet their emotional needs.
This actually shown in the data and research around DV (or IPV). A smaller proportion of the male victims report considerable or long term emotional distress (but actually over 30% do) with almost half of female victims reporting this. First of all males are taught not to reveal distress (they are much more likely to say such things are “private”) and in fact are unlikely to get help if they do. Realistically being emotionally resilient (or appearing to be so) is the role expectation of “man up”. If a woman cries she learns she will not be alone, help will come (even unwelcome help!) for men if they cry they cry alone and so learn not to bother. Women routinely display “learned helplessness” for the perfectly rational reason that it will elicit help. The same behaviours will earn men nothing. Right from the first (when male babies are comforted much less if they cry etc.) males are indeed conditioned to “suck it up”. The result, huge expectations on men to lead and provide without any thought to meet their emotional needs.