Mail Online caption: A court heard ‘hard-working and successful’ Brown was downing wine

after work when she spotted the man, 20, standing at the bar

Our thanks to Penny for this. An extract:

A furious estate agent smashed a wine glass into an innocent man’s head when he spurned her in a crowded bar. [J4MB: He had turned around to speak to a friend. Her action says a lot about deep-seated female entitlement.]

Sarah Brown, 27, flew into rage when the man turned his back on her – and twice thrust her glass into her victim in the ‘vicious and unprovoked’ attack…

John Hipkin, defending, said: ‘She has no explanation for what happened other than the alcohol.

‘She recognises she has issues with alcohol and anger management that now need to be addressed.’

Brown, of Neath, South Wales, admitted inflicting grievous bodily harm and possessing an offensive weapon.

Judge Paul Thomas QC told her: ‘You caused your victim a very unpleasant injury.

‘This was a vicious, unprovoked glassing of a stranger in a pub.

‘To hit anyone with a glass is a serious offence because of the damage it can do, and always crosses the custody threshold.’ [J4MB: Unless the perpetrator is a woman, and the victim a man, obviously.]

She was handed a 12 month suspended sentence and ordered to complete rehabilitation courses in anger management and alcohol.

She was also ordered to carry out 240 hours of unpaid work and told to pay her victim £2,000.

Judge Thomas said that if she had glassed the man in the face then she would have been jailed. [J4MB emphasis. Next time, if she glasses a man in the face whilst drunk, the judge will have to come up with a different ludicrous excuse to spare her a custodial sentence.]

Our thanks to Mike P for this. You have to be amused by women’s concerns that their partners might forget to take a pill daily, given that when women “forget” to take theirs, they haven’t forgotten, it’s an attempt at paternity fraud. The solution is obvious. Both men and women should take contraceptive pills daily. Men could take their pills covertly, to avoid becoming the victims of paternity fraud. Would this constitute maternity fraud?

Enjoy (video, 58:56).

Subscribers to The Spectator will surely enjoy this. For those of you who don’t subscribe, herewith the end of Melissa Kite’s column:

My [Facebook] description [of her horse lorry] ran to over 100 words including every possible engine detail, all the dimensions, the weight laden and unladen, and how it was suitable for horses up to 16 hands.

‘Can I put my 16.2h horse in it?’ came the response of one girl. And then from another: ‘Will my 16.3 fit in this?’

‘The problem you’ve got,’ said the keeper, as we sat in my kitchen, me head in hands, my laptop pinging with superfluous Facebook notifications, ‘is that you are dealing with women.’

‘Stupid women!’ I cried.

Because, after all the questions, they were turning up and not even test-driving it. I popped the bonnet for one girl. ‘What are you doing?’ she said. ‘Showing you the engine,’ I said. ‘Oh, but I don’t want to see that.’ ‘But it’s got a new battery and spark plugs.’ ‘I’m not really interested to be honest,’ she said, fiddling with the radio.

‘Would you like me to turn the engine over?’ ‘Nah.’ ‘Can I show you the paperwork? I have the service history.’ There was no point, She was glazing over.

It suddenly occurred to me that in the time it takes me to sell this lorry, Gracie will be fully recovered from her tendon strain and jumping again. So what if it’s £75 a month to tax, insure and park. If I let it stand idle for six months and don’t try to sell it, that’s £450 not to have to deal with women asking pointless questions. Cheap at half the price.

Our thanks to Martin for this. The start of the piece:

School PE lessons are racist, according to an astonishing taxpayer-funded study.

Teaching children to play football, rugby, cricket, netball and rounders favours ‘privileged’ white students, the politically correct 20-page report claims.

The research, which was criticised last night as ‘ludicrous’ and ‘patronising’ by a top black footballer, says sports that have been taught in schools for generations hark back to Britain’s colonial past and make ‘whiteness’ the norm.

Its authors, who were given a grant of nearly £10,000 to examine PE classes in England and Norway, suggest that learning dances from different cultures should be given greater prominence.

They add that the emphasis in PE on health and fitness could even be imposing Western ideals of how people’s bodies should look.

They also claim that ‘character-building’ practises such as ‘fair play’ have European roots. [J4MB emphasis]

In my local branch of Lidl, in Bedford, for the past two years or so there have been prominent posters of children playing football, in relation to a Lidl scheme sponsoring children for FA training. Girls generally outnumber boys on the posters – never vice versa – and not once have I seen a white boy in the images.

Mail Online caption: Amy Desir, 30, wore just trunks and a pink swimming cap

to attend a men-only swimming session at a south London pool

Our thanks to Jim for this. An extract:

In its guidelines for pools, Swim England states: ‘We may need to do some educational work with other centre users who may be concerned when sharing a space with a trans person, especially if the customer… [has] different physical characteristics to the gender they are identifying with ie: a male to female trans customer who has not had top or bottom surgery.’ The campaigners are particularly concerned that Labour is about to confirm it will allow men who self-identify as female to be added to all women shortlists.

We didn’t know “bottom surgery” was required for males transitioning to females…

Mail Online caption: Ross Bullock, 38, took his own life because of ‘distress’ [J4MB: Why the inverted commas?] caused by a fake rape allegation. After a ‘year of torment’, [J4MB: Why the inverted commas?] Mr Bullock hanged himself in the garage of the family home, leaving a note revealing he had ‘hit rock bottom’ [J4MB: Why the inverted commas?] and that with his death ‘I’m free from this living hell’

Out thanks to Mike P for this. An extract:

Mr Bullock’s parents may now take civil action against West Mercia Police and are calling for the accuser – who was in a relationship with another man when she and Ross had sex – to be charged. [J4MB: In plain English, Ross Bullock was the woman’s partner in reserve.] Police confirmed they are investigating an allegation of perverting the course of justice.

Mr Bullock, a forklift truck driver from Redditch, Worcestershire, met his accuser in February 2015 and they had sex at his workplace. The pair shared dozens of flirtatious texts afterwards.

In one exchange, Mr Bullock said: ‘Well I hope u had a good time.’ The woman replied: ‘It was alright I suppose!! X.’

And so another good man lies dead on the altar of “Guilty on the claim of a woman, until proven innocent”.

Our thanks to Glen for this. The start of the piece:

In the midst of promoting Giorgio Armani’s perfume, Sì Passione, Cate Blanchett paused to share some important information about how she and Ocean’s Eight co-star Sandra Bullock get their enviable, glowy skin.

“Sandy Bullock and I saw this facialist in New York, Georgia Louise, and she gives what we call the penis facial and it’s something — I don’t know what it is, or whether it’s just ’cause it smells a bit like sperm — there’s some enzyme in it so Sandy refers to it as the penis facial,” she told Vogue Australia.

The actual name of the facial is the Hollywood EGF (Epidermal Growth Factor) Facial, which the Upper East Side facialist created specifically for Bullock while she was filming in the city last year. The sperm smell that Blanchett described wasn’t too far off though. The serum used in the facial is actually derived from cells taken from the freshly removed foreskin of newborn babies in Korea. [J4MB emphasis]

Our thanks to Mike P for this. An extract:

Prince Harry always has been something of a romantic, publicly lamenting his difficulties in finding lasting love.

Now he’s engaged to Meghan Markle, the 33-year-old has made the most dramatic sign of his devotion: [J4MB: No, the most dramatic sign of his naivety.]  I hear that Harry has rejected signing a prenuptial agreement to safeguard his estimated £30 million fortune.

‘There was never any question in Harry’s mind that he would sign a prenup,’ one of his friends tells me. ‘He’s determined that his marriage will be a lasting one, so there’s no need for him to sign anything.’… [J4MB: If he were solely responsible for whether the marriage would last, his determination might be important. He’s setting himself up to be her slave, onw with a difference – one who will leave with a large part of his fortune.]

Meghan divorced her first husband, American film producer Trevor Engelson, after two years.

The likelihood of divorce is around 50% for most marriages in the UK, and increases with each subsequent marriage.

I went to four different betting shops in Bedford last week. Not one would give me odds on Prince Harry and Meghan Markle divorcing within five years of their marriage.

Remember, folks, Men shouldn’t marry.

Our thanks to James for this.