2 thoughts on “Relational Aggression: Is it a trap for men?”
Really spot on. Having worked in an overwhelmingly female industry for over 30 years I think I’ve learned that women’s relational aggression is remarkably transient . In that women appear to be able behave appallingly with levels of spite and disloyalty that one might think would end friendships for good, and yet a week or so later they may be friends again, with another enemy. Though women do display their emotions I think too few men realise this is just display, frequently there is not the brooding depth of male emotions.
Over the years this sort of trivial nature of much of the relational aggression allowed me to understand how it is that very serious accusations can be made for reasons out of all proportion. Thus often women would entangle managers and HR in serious processes where the genesis might be squabble about the office fridge or annoyance at someone’s repeated lateness. They see only their need to hurt at the time , not consider any consequences beyond that. So one piece of advice is hold off on “supporting” such women as one can find oneself fighting a battle when the catalyst has “moved on” and lost interest in what was supposedly an immense wrong.
So I must admit in my younger years I’d have thought any woman making a serious accusation of abuse or sexual assault was deeply affected. Now I know its perfectly possible that such serious accusations can come from the most trivial disagreement and be motivated by nothing more than spite or petulance. I guess this is why so many accusations are made and so few result in a “case” because most are done with once the object of the relational violence is chastened through humiliation at the hands of the police. My son’s friend is desperate for a move of division in the Police as he says he’s sick of going to “domestics” where he knows in a day or two all will be “dropped” because the Police have done the job of strong arming the guy for the momentarily angry “missus”.
What has unfortunately been forgotten by Western society is that women are generally more highly strung, emotional and basically bonkers than the average guy. I have always been slightly in awe of their ability to do something obviously self defeating and then be suprised when it blows up in their face. On the male side I would point to the faults of hubris and uncaring laziness.
Justice for Men & Boys 
Really spot on. Having worked in an overwhelmingly female industry for over 30 years I think I’ve learned that women’s relational aggression is remarkably transient . In that women appear to be able behave appallingly with levels of spite and disloyalty that one might think would end friendships for good, and yet a week or so later they may be friends again, with another enemy. Though women do display their emotions I think too few men realise this is just display, frequently there is not the brooding depth of male emotions.
Over the years this sort of trivial nature of much of the relational aggression allowed me to understand how it is that very serious accusations can be made for reasons out of all proportion. Thus often women would entangle managers and HR in serious processes where the genesis might be squabble about the office fridge or annoyance at someone’s repeated lateness. They see only their need to hurt at the time , not consider any consequences beyond that. So one piece of advice is hold off on “supporting” such women as one can find oneself fighting a battle when the catalyst has “moved on” and lost interest in what was supposedly an immense wrong.
So I must admit in my younger years I’d have thought any woman making a serious accusation of abuse or sexual assault was deeply affected. Now I know its perfectly possible that such serious accusations can come from the most trivial disagreement and be motivated by nothing more than spite or petulance. I guess this is why so many accusations are made and so few result in a “case” because most are done with once the object of the relational violence is chastened through humiliation at the hands of the police. My son’s friend is desperate for a move of division in the Police as he says he’s sick of going to “domestics” where he knows in a day or two all will be “dropped” because the Police have done the job of strong arming the guy for the momentarily angry “missus”.
LikeLike
What has unfortunately been forgotten by Western society is that women are generally more highly strung, emotional and basically bonkers than the average guy. I have always been slightly in awe of their ability to do something obviously self defeating and then be suprised when it blows up in their face. On the male side I would point to the faults of hubris and uncaring laziness.
LikeLike