Women have long used children as a ‘Get out of jail free’ card, but it’s unusual for a man to be allowed to do so. Raymond Hull (58) was convicted for drug dealing, after being convicted for 31 offences (not drug-related) in 40 years. He’s lived off benefits for the past 10 years:

Hull admitted  using cannabis to help with  his own medical problems at Carlisle Crown  Court, but claimed he only sold to  friends to cover costs. However,  Judge Paul Batty QC dismissed Hull’s claims as  a ‘cock and bull story’.  Hull then abandoned his story, choosing not to give  evidence in support  of it.

In mitigation, Anthony Wilson said Hull had  ‘a number of  medicinal conditions’ including breathing problems, back pains and  frequent chest infections which would make any time in prison  difficult.

Well, we mustn’t imprison people who’d find prison ‘difficult’, must we? The judge’s surname is, appropriately:

Batty