Drunk woman caught performing sex act with another woman in Gateshead doorway at 8:45 a.m. convicted for outraging public decency. Suspended sentence because vagina.

Our thanks to Steve for this. An extract:

“But as previously reported in ChronicleLive, Crawford was again in trouble with the police in June following an outburst in Durham city centre. The 40-year-old assaulted a police officer after throwing items of shop stock in the street. When she was taken to a police cell, she “defecated” [J4MB: Why the quotation marks?] inside it, causing damage.”

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