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Justice for Men & Boys 
Truly heartbreaking. And how very masculine for the victim of the corrupt state institutions (Family court and Social Work) to aver that the mother is a good mother to their children, despite her use of the institutions to punish him. Yet again a male sees beyond his personal experience to the general principles of what is fair and morally justified. I hope contributions help him be successful and buoy up his soul. Occasionally the stats on male suicide blandly say “relationship breakdown” is a key contributor, never exploring exactly what that means. All too often it won’t be the end of the relationship that’s important but the damage done by the State through its agents and their application of the VAWG Strategy that blithely declares fathers are at best incidental to their children (but central financially) and worst an outright danger. As this man says the system rewards accusations (not least by making legal aid conditional on making an accusation of domestic abuse) and does nothing to deter them. The personal made political as the institutions of the state pursue a political ideology in the deeply personal situation of marriage breakdown and care and support of the children.
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His comment about his son’s mother being a good mother is very revealing.
Objectively she is a terrible mother. Children do far better when brought up by two parents and where is cooperation and a respectful relationship between them. She has by his account used a campaign of false allegations and legal obstruction to restrict his access. Restricting his access of itself is damaging to their child and that’s before factoring the effect of an acrimonious relationship, the diversion of resources and involving a child in a process involving such allegations. It amounts to low level child abuse. Yet he says she is a ‘good mother’. She clearly is not but that he says this show how powerful our innate bias in favour of women is.
This is the real problem we can complain abut institutional failings, the legal framework etc. but the underlying issue and cause is a biologicals one a strong cognitive bias in favour of women. The magnitude of the problem we face is revealed by the fact that even on the verge of suicide a victim of female dishonesty and abase still considers her ‘good’. The best that can be done is to recognise and manage and mitigate this. The tragedy of the modern world is that we do the opposite promoting a myth of a pro-male bias and justifying ad encouraging extreme institutional biases.
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Thanks, I couldn’t agree more. I groaned when I read “good mother”.
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