Our thanks to Nigel for this. He writes:

There really is no end of people you could put in a “group”. It is such a fool’s errand to attempt to prevent all hurt “feelings”. I simply don’t believe my upbringing was so extraordinary in the sixties and seventies. In a prosperous working-class area we were taught all the “Christian virtues”, but of course there were always a few who were rude, or bullies, or just plain nasty. As far as I can see my children too know about the “golden rule” and what decent behaviour is and isn’t. Like the bizarre idea that there needs to be some “new” education to ensure boys aren’t nasty to girls en masse, when “never hit girls” and “mind your language in front of girls” appears as much a part of male socialization now as it was in the 1960s.

There comes a point surely where we have to admit that trying to respond to every possibility someone will transgress manners by an ever growing manual of perfect behaviour, overseen by police, can’t substitute for teaching some very basic principles of decent behaviour to be applied to all people.

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