Our thanks to Nick for this. A magistrate at Leicester Crown Court clearly has a sense of humour:

She was warned she could be jailed when sentenced in December.

How many times have we heard laughable assertions like this?

I’m more likely to be the captain of a Scotland football team winning the next World Cup – after beating Germany 10-0 in the final game – than Caroline Starmer (28) serve a prison sentence. As the mother of a baby who’ll be 14 months old in December, she’ll receive a suspended sentence, and the whole charade will have been an utter waste of taxpayer’s money. Which brings me to a cost saving idea for the Taxpayers’ Alliance to take up:

Why doesn’t the government declare it will stop prosecuting women suspected of having committed criminal offences, and spare us this relentless stream of taxpayer-funded farces?