Incompetent elderly female thieves

You couldn’t make it up. From today’s Times:

Police are looking for two female pensioners suspected of stealing a portrait of the actor Steve McQueen. The 6ft by 4ft painting was taken from the Bullitt Hotel in Belfast on Sunday evening. One of the women, who used a Zimmer frame, [my emphasis] was seen carrying it away, but they found that it was too big to fit into their car. It was discovered with slight damage outside a nearby restaurant.

We can safely assume the police aren’t ‘looking’ too hard, given their focus on arresting innocent men following women’s false allegations of rape and domestic violence. We can but hope that CCTV footage of the ladies’ bungled attempts to fit the painting into their car becomes available online.

In the unlikely event the pair are arrested and charged, they’ll surely received suspended sentences on the grounds of women’s poor spatial awareness. No men would steal paintings too big to fit into their cars. Rookie mistake.

About Mike Buchanan

I'm a men's human rights advocate, writer, and publisher. My primary focus is leading the political party I launched in 2013, Justice for Men & Boys (and the women who love them). I still work actively on two campaigns I launched in early 2012, Campaign for Merit in Business and the Anti-Feminism League. In 2014 I launched The Alternative Sexism Project, aiming to raise public understanding that the sexism faced by men and boys has far more grievous consequences than the sexism faced by women and girls.
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  • Colin Carter

    Pretty clear case of poor spatial awareness here, Mike:

    Your take on the case is funnier and more topical, I’ll grant you.

  • epistemol

    Well you see, McQueen was creating an unsafe space and they were traumatised by this oppression and thus bore no responsibility for their actions.
    He should have shewn what steps he had taken to get their continual and ongoing consent to be there.

    I hope this has cleared that up.

  • The one without the walking frame was probably my mum. She’d do anything to get close to Steve McQueen.