Why I hate the feminists who desecrate my father’s memory

[‘A Voice for Men’ has just published this piece:

http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/why-i-hate-the-feminists-who-desecrate-my-fathers-memory/

I invite you to leave any comments you may have on that website rather than this one – or ideally both, if you can. Thank you.]

One of the feminist narratives which angers me the most is that men are inherently violent, and that if more women were in charge of countries, we’d see fewer armed conflicts. Given the readiness with which some women manipulate men to assault and even kill men who’ve displeased them – ‘violence by proxy’ – it’s a ridiculous claim. Why wouldn’t women be even more prepared to start wars, given the victims would be overwhelmingly men? The fact that in most cases of unreciprocated domestic violence the perpetrator is a woman surely tells us that women are NOT inherently less physically aggressive than men. A higher proportion of female MPs than male MPs voted for Britain to go to war with Iraq – many of them the ‘Blair Babes’ elected in 1997.

A few months ago my father (Malcolm) died at the age of 90. A gentle, generous and kind man who grew up in the Outer Hebrides, he was a lifelong hero to me, in no small measure because on his 21st birthday, a few days after D-Day, he jumped onto a Normandy beach as part of the unit supporting General Montgomery. Yesterday the BBC broadcast a remarkable documentary about the men who served in WW1, which ended a few years before my father was born. It moved me deeply, because it said so much about the sense of duty men – such as my father – feel to protect the vulnerable, often at terrible personal cost:

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKhX1c3ow6BrzdzP3ydpeZQ/videos

It’s a lengthy but very moving documentary, worth watching in full. It consists mainly of interviews of men (and a few women) recorded about 50 years after the outset of WW1, in the early 1960s – about 50 years ago. Any man who watches the documentary will surely stand a little taller after watching it. Any woman who watches it – any woman with a heart, anyway – will surely be grateful that men (then, as now, as always) have been prepared to die in order that women and children don’t.

50 years after Dad had jumped onto that Normandy beach I took him to visit the Normandy beaches, the war cemeteries etc. It was the first time since WW2 he’d been back. We went to one of the British cemeteries in Bayeux, where he politely asked to be left alone as he walked down line after line of graves. It was clear from the crosses on the gravestones that most of the men who’d died on the Normandy beaches were around 20 years of age, as he’d been at the time. Many were only 17 or 18. We later went to the enormous and impressive American war cemetery, with crosses and Stars of David marking the final resting places of huge numbers of similarly young men – all facing the United States – and I recall thinking that any European spouting anti-American sentiments should be required to spend an hour or two walking slowly around that place.

Whilst walking past all those graves my father evidently had tears streaming down his face – the first and only time I ever saw him cry – and he was obviously laying some ghosts to rest. He was to live for another 19 years, and I saw him regularly over those years. It was rarely he didn’t find the time to say how much that trip had meant to him. A wonderful father. A wonderful man.

I wrote a short blog piece when he died, saying I thought he was from the last generation of men who weren’t automatically vilified on account of being men. He never came close to understanding about feminism, maybe the two things were related. I’ve heard it speculated that feminism was enabled and energised by the notion that as it was men who’d started two world wars, men collectively were somehow to blame. The facts that only men were in positions of real power at that time, and 99% of the victims of those wars were men, were of course never considered worthy of mention.

About Mike Buchanan

I'm a men's human rights advocate, writer, and publisher. My primary focus is leading the political party I launched in 2013, Justice for Men & Boys (and the women who love them). I still work actively on two campaigns I launched in early 2012, Campaign for Merit in Business and the Anti-Feminism League. In 2014 I launched The Alternative Sexism Project, aiming to raise public understanding that the sexism faced by men and boys has far more grievous consequences than the sexism faced by women and girls.
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  • Thanks for sharing that Mike. Your Dad didn’t understand feminism because he came from a generation that wasn’t privileged enough to afford the time or resources to do much in the way of naval gazing and whining, for a start he was fighting, putting his life on the line to protect others from the evils of Hitler and Nazism. Feminists are such spoiled brats, they appreciate nothing and understand even less.

  • “It was clear from the crosses on the gravestones that most of the men who’d died on the Normandy beaches were around 20 years of age, as he’d been at the time. Many were only 17 or 18.”

    Also Remember that none of those were able to vote… You had to be 21 at best to be able to vote and this only came into play AFTER WW1 (1,000,000 dead, 10,000,000 wounded in the UK alone). The next reduction in the age limit was 1969/70, well after WW2, National Service, Korea etc if UK

  • Hi Mike,
    great article and so very true. It goes without saying that the current breed of whiny,ungrateful,dishonest and shameless feminist-inspired women do not deserve a fraction of the priviledged treatment they are currently getting. In fact,they deserve none.

  • vadark

    A very moving account, Mike. I don’t think many women, if any, could contemplate what it was like to be a man throughout the war era. Quite how these feminists have the nerve to preach how bad they had it just because of the vote is beyond logical comprehension. Shame on them.

    • Thanks you, and well said. Someone pointed out that most of the young men who died on the Normandy beaches and later didn’t have the vote, the minimum age for voting then being 21.

  • Hi Mike well written and well said. We live on the Outer Hebrides whereabouts was Dad from?

    • Thanks you. Stornaway. It was lovely to see a number of aunts and uncles at his funeral, held in Northampton (maybe 70 miles north of London). I always loved holidays in the Western Isles, from when I was a young boy, to maybe 4-5 years ago. With one of my ill-fated ex-wives I travelled from the Butt of Ness to Vatersay. When we got to the beach on Vatersay we could have been in the Caribbean. Turquoise sky, not a cloud in the sky, and terns falling into the water not 20 years away, hunting sandeels. Simply magical. If I weren’t doing what I do today – being near London helps in politics! – I’d be tempted to live in the Western Isles. Oddly enough I always found it a wonderfully evocative place, while Dad didn’t have fond memories, sadly – poor upbringing, and his mother died when he was 14 or 15, so as the eldest son he had to leave school to help support the family. He was the kindest man I ever met in my life. I miss him greatly.

  • Thank you for sharing your story. My father died when I was a small boy. He was a “boy airman” as Ww2 started . Like so many he said little about his war which included the DFM . My Grandfather the very gentlest of men had been a machine gunner all through the horror of WW1 . I remember being shocked that the casualties of the falklands were younger than I at the time. In war and industry and in what has been described as the ” quiet desperation” of breadwinning much is expected of boys and men . The truth is that this hasn’t really changed , men overwhelmingly are the backbone of a society. What is lacking is equity and values . And a bit of perspective about what really matters.

  • Too often, women and feminists tend to disregard and forget that men too face unfairness and violence within the societal makeup that makes a list of dos and don’ts for both sexes.
    I have met many war veterans, as well as my own grand-parents that were involved in liberation movements and had to go to war because there was no option, I remember my grandmother saying hat her DAD didn’t want to go, he was a writer simple and didn’t believe into bloodshed but he and many had to do it. Shame on those feminists that disregard this phenomenon.

  • A brilliantly written piece, sombre, but not maudlin, moving but not saccharine and sentimental.
    The documentary is indeed excellent, It reminded my of collecting first hand accounts from my then living grandparents for school about WW2.
    You’ve clearly imbibed your father’s fighting spirit and will to stand up to injustices.
    The causes of The ‘Great’ War are far too complex to even consider such trite ‘explanations’, it seems the adage “Those that have had to fight for nothing, will fall for anything” has more than a little truth to it.

  • Don’t worry everyone, feminism is doomed to eventually lose. For no other reason than it is simply wrong. And this observation is based upon obvious fact – not on the subjective opinions or preferences of a select few. And since the dawn of human civilisation no society has ever been able to function indefinitely on the fodder of ideological dishonesty. Any attempt to do so eventually sees it all dramatically imploding. Our history books are dripping with examples – particularly those which focus upon the last century. As a wise old saying reminds us:-

    ‘You can fool all of the people for some of the time You can fool some people all of the time. But you can’t fool all of the people for all of the time.’